Real men wear stripes
Real men drive too fast
Real men are fat
Real men do the fandango
Real men like fillet steak
Real men fart in bed
Real men wear snapbrimmed fedoras
Real men eat their greens with mustard
Real men love Nikki Cox
Real men smoke cigars
Real men dream of electric sheets
Real men live life in the fish lane
Real men would like to sleep with the girls from Charmed
Real men hold their own in bed
Real men put pepper on everything
Real men laugh in the face of comedy
Real men cry at the sound of wolves
Real men make your bum look big
Real men take their whiskey on the rocks
Real men gorge themselves on strawberry tarts
Real men do things at the last minute
Real men cook tuna steak with chilli flakes and olive oil
Real men dip chocolate biscuits in tea
Real men look like Stacey Keach
Real men play football in the park
Real men shout for the underdog
Real men know what time it is
Real men buy 20 pairs of the same socks
Real men eat macaroni and cheese
Real men shave before they shower
Real men drink Heineken
Real men know how to make a Windsor knot
Real men get a taxi when they're late
Real men eat smelly cheese
Real men let women have their say
Real men look after their shoes
Real men take action at the first sign of a cold or flu
Real men take brown sauce on bacon
Real men watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Real men take pleasure in fondling their scrotums
Real men drink heavily all day
Real men can paint their house while taking a nap
Real men fart on crowded communter transport
Real men would like to jump on Kathy Lloyd in a jumpsuit
Real men fight using sticks with nails in them
Real men can swallow coal and shit diamonds
Real men eat honey straight from the jar
Real men sneeze while driving